why does my roommate get woken up by the sound of my mouseclicks, but not by his own snores ?

oh the mysteries of life

theres never a good time for nostalgia


edit: this just in.

A MINUS WHAT THE HELL

(this is the only place i can say that)

im relacing at the new gates centre lounge area. drinking my morning, uh afternoon, coffee and munching on a sesame bagel because the food place is too crowded. apparently the caramel macchiato isnt a huge drink (starbucks butchered it). the real drink is really just espresso sized. two ounches of coffee. so im having a double espresso with a shot of caramel instead.

nobody else around. weird.

the scent of fall fills the air. the first sight of nature i get as i walk out my dorm and down the stairs is the tree with half yellowed leaves, just outside the window. the leaves have that kind of maple leaf shape. insanely strong gusts today. you can see the grass rustling in waves as the wind tears through. fallen leaves dance up and down vortices on the hillside. and all this i see from where im sitting now.

i guess i can understand how people get into photography.

safe behind glass walls. because its so damn cold and the wind messes up my hair.

bill gates just opened this building last tuesday. and no i didnt get to see him. they only let the damn cs kids listen to his speech in person.

g20 came and went. riots, tear gas, smashed store fronts accompany the voices chanting through loudhailers, with the police motorcade patrolling up and down forbes ave.

caught nothing of it. was busy with homework. and getting tear gassed in the army once is enough for me.

my floormates tried to get in to the action, but the police blocked off street leading to the riot zone. nobody could get near. crazy americans.

its 5am. hahah. i think i cant sleep from all the friday night starcraft adrenaline. my apm kinda low, macro and micro are horrible. need to practice more.

just had 2 midterms. got back one of them. well, did better than expected. everyone was saying oh how easy it was and everything, and i was thinking to myself, fuck i screwed up so bad because i couldnt do one induction question the right way.

in the end i did better.

this got me thinking.

people are pulling all nighters and spending hours on homework (not sure if the homework even warrants that amount of time spent), and saying "what do you expect, its cmu".

they say it with a certain air.

i find it a little analogous to what people say about the army experience. or their own life experiences in general.

everyone tends to exaggerate things. personal experiences. such as army, like omg army was shit blah blah.

when im hearing these things from people right here, im thinking the exact same thing. why doesnt anyone else realise it ?

or maybe im just fortunate enough to be given some perspective.

(haha joseph.)

ah i havent really thought of anything really meaningful to put up here.

i think i treat this blog the way i approach conversation. i dont say anything unless i think it is at least meaningful in some miniscule way. meaningful in the sense that the other party finds something interesting in what i have to say.

reminded of this blog because xl randomly responding to my musings. and i dont get that often.

is the t pronounced ? or silent ?

realised i didnt make a bawwwww post before i left. neither did i make an arrival post when i settled in.

do i think that this is a milestone worth mentioning ? milestone yes, worth mentioning.. maybe not so much.

this milestone will probably be as ______ ( i had this word.. but i just couldnt get it. i spent like 5 minutes thinking about it. a singular word that sums up your entire outlook, perspective, way of life. perhaps a synonym of doctrine, dogma.) redefining, in the same scope and magnitude relative to my current (or now, predeparture) life circumstance, as back then when i first stepped into ri.

revolutionary ? no doesnt quite have that ring to it.

i dont think i was quite emotional when i left. perhaps it was the lure of adventure that dominated over the unwillingness to leave things behind. if there even was that.

i think it is that there is no sense of loss. on my part. i dont feel as if i am giving anything up, almost certain that there is something to return to in sg. friendships, family. such certainty warrants no feelings of melancholy.

but what if such tangible certainty proves false ? not by the fault of any but that of time. the tethers slowly decaying away, barely noticed. that will be the real tragedy